Collectors Are Sick
At the risk of sounding like an old fart, I will still say that ‘when I was a kid’ we did things differently. Sure, I collected hockey cards and Star Wars action figures, but not to store them behind some glass cases or keep them in their boxes. They were used and abused. Hockey cards existed to be played and traded. Star Wars figures allowed us to imagine re-enact movie scenes or create our own storylines with Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. Most importantly, these toys were important social and communal tools. This was how I made friends.
What little remains of my hockey stash is torn, bent, damaged and re-configured. The Star Wars toys are long gone. I didn’t earn a dime from them. They’re value to me was not material, but communal and emotional. These were items of a moment in a life. That’s it and yet that’s all.
Today’s kids, for the most part, aren’t that different. My kid’s toys are thrown, tossed, dented and damaged. Give a kid a toy and they’ll play it till it’s busted. Unfortunately, kids can’t always get a hold of the toys because mom and dad have locked them up in glass cases inside their original containers. Our house is no different. My wife has vintage unused Pee Wee Herman figures behind glass doors well out of reach of our boys. Another friend of mine has a house filled with an assortment of figures, dolls, movie figures. My kids love the place. It’s like a toy shop. Well, okay, more like toy museum. Cause, sadly, kids can’t play with the toys. Instead, they sit quietly on shelves, untouched my human hands.
My most recent experience with collector types came as my eldest and I were heading into a local big chain toy store. I was all set to buy him this Star Wars vehicle. As we entered the store, I see a guy in his early 30s leaving with a cart piled about 6-7ft high with boxes containing this very Star Wars toy. We carry onto the Star Wars section but sure enough this fugger had bought up the remaining stock.. The guy will probably turn a profit by reselling them to collectors. All the while, these cheap plastic things will remain untouched by a human hand. Most kids won’t even get a chance to play with this stuff unless mom or dad fork up big bucks on Ebay.
Now, when I say that these hoarders and collectors are sick, I’m not blowing hot air. Collecting is a sign of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, depression, anxiety, or plain ol’ greed. Some folks, like the Toy Store twerp, are just collecting for the cash. Others do it for sentimental reasons. All of us keep a few mementos from our past. Perhaps the item takes the person back to a happier, simpler time – usually in their childhood. I still have my beloved Loblaws NHL sticker album from 1974. I keep it because I loved this book as a kid plus I love reading about all those old players and teams. But, really, at the end of the day, the book isn’t worth squat. It’s just a quaint item I keep handy when I feel sorry for myself. And, as corny as it sounds, my mental images are much stronger than any material keepsake. I don’t need the book to remember.
These connections are also superficial. Most of us like to recreate our past, make it rosier than perhaps it was. If I’m truthful with myself, for example, I can admit that in fact the time when I had my Loblaws NHL sticker book was a miserable time in my life. So, collecting can be away to paint over a past, to reimagine it as a rosier time than it was.
Most of us laugh at ‘pack rats’ and hoarders, but if we sit back a distance and think about it for a minute, it’s really not all that funny. It can be a symptom of a sick or unhappy person; someone who has shut themselves away from social contact. It’s simplistic perhaps to say that “you can’t take it with you,” but there’s also no greater truth.
As for my son and I, we just went home and ripped open Mom’s Pee Wee Herman figures and spent the afternoon playing with them.