Stormy Weather
The weather network pisses me off. No, it’s not because of their very existence. Yes, the fact that we even have a weather channel speaks volumes about the cozy state of things in North America, but then again, if we can have an all sports highlight channel, why not a channel about the wind?
And no, it’s not because getting local weather (unless you’ve got Satellite TV) is a pain in the ass because you never know when it’s on and usually you have to sit through pollen commercials, inane weather history (did you know that in 1975, a storm disrupted an outdoor market in Burnaby? Did you care?), marine forecasts, or that David Suzuki of weather, David Phillips (you know, the genial looking guy who could pass for Bob Rae’s pops). No, what gets me is the increasingly alarmist tendencies of our Weather Network.
Perhaps in need of a rating’s boost since other newscasters have jumped on ‘apocalyptic’ weather stories, the Weather Network seems to have modeled, in their modest way, the sensationalist style of CNN and FOX. When a storm is approaching, the Weather Network screen goes red. Now, it’s always done that, but it was my understanding that it used to happen only when a serious storm was approaching. These days, it seems to go red for any and all storms. Not only that, but now every storm warning comes with a small text that cautions that storms can turn into tornados! That’s like saying all humans are at risk of getting Fairbanks disease (a rare disorder that effects bone growth). In other words, it’s possible, but highly unlikely.
Do we really need an alert for every storm that passes? Seems to me that we lived with storms long before the network came along. Besides, I’m sure I’m not alone in the fact that I love a good downpour. So what if I get drenched on my bike? So be it. It’s life kids. In our neighbourhood, many of us sit out on our porches to watch and listen to the rain. It’s really a pleasant and serene experience. The kids love it too. Sure, there’s a risk of danger with a storm, but is it any greater than crossing the street, driving on a highway, or breathing?
I love knowing that a storm is coming, but if we’re going to have an advisory for every dark cloud, can’t it be more jovial” Maybe the screen can flash as dancing clouds, rain drops and wind jaunt across the screen? Perhaps they can use party horns or kazoos to make thunder and lighting noises? Oh wait, how about the opening of AC/DCs weather opus, Thunderstruck? The choices are many (perhaps we can use our interactive TV buttons to create the storm party screen of our choice?) but whatever your preferences let’s make storm advisories more celebratory and fun.
The same goes for snow days and power outages. People still talk fondly about the blackout of August 2003. Suddenly we were free from our technological shackles. The children played in the streets. Neighbours spoke to each other, had parties and barbecues. Sure, it wasn’t so fun for everyone, but I think there are many who would relish an annual blackout day when for a few hours, we step outside our insulated lives.
Seriously though, what does this alarmist nature say about our society? Are we being treated like babies? “Oh, the poor things need to be careful in the rain.” Have we become a society of wimps? What is perhaps even more telling is that we appear eager for something exciting and threatening to happen. Our lives have become so mechanized, complacent and insular that we appear desperate for any type of action or threat, something that will show us that we’re alive and have something to fight for.
But, it’s a storm. That’s it. That’s all. It’s not a reason to race out to Canadian Tire to stock up on emergency gear in preparation for the apocalypse, but it is a good reason to grab the family and neighbours and sit together outside to enjoy a communal moment.
What happened to the saying throw caution to the wind? Today, caution is the wind.
August 2007